After a relationship ends, there will inevitably be a few things that belong to one party that are in the possession of the other party. Some of these items may not be worth fighting over or trying to get back. But, when it’s a t-shirt at stake, it will definitely be worth making the effort to get it back. The problem is that the end of the relationship will create problems in trying to get anything back, and it will be worse for something that your ex-girlfriend knows that you want. For this reason, it’s necessary to put some thought and planning into the t-shirt recovery operation.

Above all, never order her to give the t-shirt back. If she realizes how much it means to you if may give her extreme pleasure to know that keeping the t-shirt is irritating you so much. This is particularly true if the relationship ended badly. If it ended in a good way, and you don’t feel it will thrill her to make you upset, you might get the t-shirt back simply by being polite and asking for it. If the break up and the relationship have been far more complicated than this, there is an action plan that can’t fail to work.

Offer to talk. This may provide her with the closure she has needed since the end of the relationship. The talking should be done at her place, however, since that’s where the t-shirt is. If the talk goes well, it won’t be a problem to ask for the t-shirt back at that time. Don’t, however, ask her for the shirt back as soon as you get there. Wait until some meaningful communication has taken place.

Make some progress in talking about the issues that you both have with each other and what you can do to make it easier for each other. That would be the perfect time to bring up the t-shirt and how much it would mean to you if she could be big enough to give it back to you. Tell her that it would be the perfect way to show you that the breakup is going to stay mature and reasonable, even if there is still some anger between you both. After hearing this, she will have a hard time refusing and being seen as an immature person who is making the situation worse.

Offer her something in return. If she can see this as a mature exchange of communication and personal items, you might be more inclined to go along with the whole thing. You can make this easier for her to do by offering her something of hers. If you have an item she has left behind, offer it first as a gesture of goodwill. If you don’t have something of hers, offer to do a favor for her that you know she will appreciate. Once you’ve offered her something, it will be even harder for her to refuse to give you back your t-shirt.