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How To Dress Like A Hillbilly

Hillbilly

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, isn’t dressing like a hillbilly basically the same as dressing like a red neck. The answer, and it may surprise you, is not really. You see a hillbilly is, typically, considered not all that intelligent and rather, well, how to put this nicely, slovenly in their appearance.

To dress like a hillbilly you must consider the hillbilly in its natural environment. Picture a house whose screen door is only resting on the doorframe, a yard full of old stuff and a pickup truck, rusted, sitting on cinderblocks. The woman is standing out front with a baby on her hip and the man is chewing tobacco with a shotgun resting on his hip as he spits tobacco on the ground.

Ok, now that you have the mental picture in your head, let’s get onto the art of dressing like a hillbilly. Remember, hillbillies are people who have led, hard lives and look, on average, ten years older than they actually are. Over all hillbilly fashion is surprisingly simple:

1)    Clothing – You want old, one or two sizes too big for you overalls that are stained or look like they get washed once a week. Flannel shirts under the overalls or a worn out looking t-shirt complete the clothing ensemble. For the women, overalls are good but really beat up jeans rolled halfway up your calves is a much better look.
2)    Baseball caps – The cap should be a solid color, black or red, and have a logo on them about sports, beer, farming equipment, women, liquor, fishing or hunting. Make sure the front of the cap is good and curved. Use a baseball to get the look right. Just take the ball, wrap the bill of the cap around it and shove it through the opening in the back of the cap. Make sure the bill is a little wet first.
3)    Hairstyle – As for hairstyles I have two suggestions: Men – mullet, seriously. Women – 80’s hair, or dirty and straight with a part in the middle.
4)    Shoes – Your shoes should be work boots and look like you’ve worn them everyday for the past 5 years. Women: barefoot.

That’s the fashion part of it, like I said, surprisingly simple. However, it’s not enough to look like a hillbilly; you have to act like one to really pull it off. Hillbillies are not known for their incredible posture, skill at intelligent conversation or cleanliness.  So no funny or witty anecdotes or you will completely blow your look.

Lastly, look older than you are. As I said above, hillbillies live hard lives and age faster than other people. You need to bring that look out, as well so, making your eyes look sunken is a plus. Men, grow a scraggly beard and don’t trim it very well. Ladies you have to let your hair get dirty and oily and stop conditioning it.

Remember, you have to look like you’re someone who thinks a computer is a magic box that scares you.

Written by admin

20 Comments

  1. anita proud hill billy · September 16, 2009

    YOUR STUPID all hill billies don’t go dirty THANK YOU VERY much. IDIOT . your site is a disgrace to hill billies every where. Some of us probably change clothes and wash our azz more than you change your bloomers a week. and most of us ware nike or a good brand tennis show and no we women do not go barefoot all the time , maybe in our house yes, to help keep our floors clean.duhhh your a redneck that dont know squat about what your writing about…as usuall

  2. Jessica · September 16, 2009

    Anita,

    Thanks for your comment. If you are familiar with hillbilly fashion do you mind providing some tips and suggestions on how to dress hillbilly?

    Jessica

  3. anita · September 16, 2009

    Well Jessica, we HILL BILLIES here in West Virginia dress about like anyone else in the world, we ware what is the style at the time, and like MOST people in the world we ware jeans-t-shirts and tennis shoes or sneakers as some may call them.A lot of us like flip-flops also.

    We don’t go barefoot because we cant afford shoes, some may like bare feet as people do other places.

    Some workers do ware bib overalls and some do ware them as a part of their wardrobe.Because of comfort.
    My husband for one wares bibs as part of his work clothes, hes an underground coal miner and although he gets very black every day he also SHOWERS every day also.

    And unlike this stupid article, we do take baths pretty regular, we also use soap and deoderent and some of us even have cologne.

    And we even wash our hair daily also.
    and the ones of us that still have teeth even brush them a few times a day, I even brush my 1 once a week.

  4. Nathan · September 25, 2009

    Thanks for your suggestions. For Halloween, I plan on popping in Billy Bob teeth and sprucing myself up by not shaving for several days and looking generally discheveled. Maybe I could give myself a fake truckers tan or red neck with cosmetics.

  5. James · December 15, 2009

    In my experience, you described rednecks/trailer trash/white trash to a T. Throw in an old pickup truck or an 80′s Mustang and you’d have a deffinition worthy of the Encyclopedia Brittanica!

    On hillbillies, I’m afraid you’re a bit off. I grew up at the foothills of the Appalachian mountains, and here’s what I’ve found to be typical hillbilly dress:

    Overalls- You got that part right. But you’re reasoning was a tad off. As secluded somewhat hermit folk, we go for fuction and and durability rather than fashion. Not to mention they are decently priced and, being denim, don’t have to be washed as often. Most hillbilly women wear dresses and skirts. Occasionally they wear overalls.

    Hat/hair- You typically see hillbillies wear cowboy hats, felt hats, or no hats. Baseball caps like you described are a redneck thing. Hillbillies may go for trucker hats if they are older men (usually with the logo of a countrystore or feed store), but seldom baseball caps. A hillbilly would never be caught dead with those trashy mullets. Billy Ray Cyrus was a pop-country (I.e. redneck) singer, not a hillbilly (bluegrass and outlaw country.) Most hillbillies have shaggy unkempt hair, or very short hair. On women, hair is usually cut pretty plainly with no layering or anything.

    Footwear- Work boots are common, as they are functional and warm (great for mountain winters). In the summer, many men AND women go barefoot. I usually do. I either wear shoes or sandals most of the summer. Unless I’m checking traps or my still (actually I don’t have a still, but I want one), then I wear boots (too many snakes out there in the woods).

    Keep in mind that the loudmouthed, budweiser guzzling, Toby Keith loving folk you see are not real hillbillies. Most hillbillies aren’t into starting fights, causing trouble or making a huge scene. We would rather be in the woods sitting under a tree fishing with a cane-pole, smoking a corncob pipe, sipping some shine. We are more like backwoods hippies (except with the fear of God).

  6. peyton · December 16, 2009

    hahah i think its funny how anita says she only brushes her teeth once a week! baaahahhaha, sheesh! i live in a very country town and i can garauntee we brush our teeth twice to three times a day..!! baaahahah.

  7. john · March 9, 2010

    go the hillbillys

  8. hillbilly love · July 1, 2010

    ya know, i take affence at all these comments!im a hillbillie and proud of it!

  9. hillbilly love · July 1, 2010

    most the folks who i can see over the hill from our cabin dress like they know fashion! they has work boot and coveralls/overalls and stashes and fun stuff.go hiilbillie power!!! p.s. i also like red necks.(which i am).

  10. SUSAN · September 21, 2010

    haha.
    this shows how smart proper city people are!
    not so much!
    or they would say true things :)

    no jessica didnt lie about hillbilly’s intelligence.
    she simply doesnt know. :(
    srry for ur education jessy. :)

    people are people. why dont u say something about black people, or midgets or retarded people while your at it.

    so ignorant. (google it)

    im from easteren kentucky btw :) hillbilly as they come.
    haha. people think there is nothing but dirt roads, and no shoes, and 5 teeth. HHAHAHAH.. um okay intelligent smart city jessica and if anyone else thinks that.. clearly you need to travel more or something, get out of the house lazy bum city people! just joking not going to stoop down a level because of one person!
    anyway going to get on my iphone 4 and while wearing my Coach sneakers, im gonna drive my 2010 Camaro on a Black top road! :) peace out idiot.

  11. George · June 24, 2011

    I love how Anita is basically saying “we hillbillys aint not stooopid” or for us, were not stupid, but this is a sterotype jokey thing, and you spell “ware” wrong it’s wear.

  12. George · June 24, 2011

    p.s. not being a prick, but i love hillbillies and the south, despite this im from Britain.

  13. Tom · September 10, 2011

    Ever seen Deliverance? Model hill folk there, use them two good ole boys up in them thar woods as a reference.

  14. Hillbilly Lover · September 12, 2011

    THANKS for the Advice Really HELPED!!!!!

  15. nathan edwards · January 12, 2012

    why u make fun of hillbillys for

  16. Jim · February 17, 2012

    Everyone seems to have this image of a Hillbilly, as some disheveled, ignorant, simpleton. Which I will admit that there are more than a few stereotypical “Hillbillies” running around making all of us look stupid. But consider this, How many folks out there can repair, lets say a leaky roof, without driving 20 or so miles to get supplies? You see my point is this, “Hillbilly” has been transformed into a derogatory name given to All Mountain folk, Which is a misconception that stems from the fact that Mountain folk are independent and have little need to depend on mass produced products. So outside socialization is inherently kept to a minimum. I’m not saying that we are antisocial, in fact we are very social people. We enjoy spending time with our neighbors, It’s just that we depend on our ingenuity and innate problem solving skills rather than picking up the phone and calling someone to come fix or install something we could do ourselves.
    As far as our wardrobe we do wear overalls quite often, They are very functional, and yes inexpensive. For our feet we wear boots, both for comfort and practicality. as far as being barefoot, Children go outdoors barefoot so that they don’t ruin their shoes as fast as they can be purchased. Also it is a learning tool used by adults to teach their children to tread softly which is beneficial when hunting. On the other hand, We do wear suits and ties. I myself have several and my friends and family all have at least one suit. and not some cheap Wal-mart rack suits, but tailored and well fitting. These are for office jobs and church, or just for going out on dates.
    And for the hygiene issue, We are clean but practical. When out and about in the woods or forests there are numerous parasites which would just love to infest the human body. So hair is cut short, beards are optional but do keep ones face warm during cool mornings and evenings. Teeth are brushed daily, trips to the dentist are bi-annually. Would you like to be stuck up on the mountain in a snowstorm with a cavity? I know I wouldn’t. So hygiene IS an important issue.
    Lastly I would like to point out that education is important. and I know of at least 3 people in this area who have a PhD and many that are going to a university or have some advanced schooling.
    So in short us “hillbillies” are just as educated, clean, and fashionable as every other regionally segregated groups. But in my opinion better, only because we can do for ourselves and have the ability to rely on our neighbors. We are a community that helps each other with problems. How many others can make that claim?

  17. Daughter of a Hillbilly · April 5, 2012

    Good article. Id say hillbillies and or rednecks just wear the same thing every day .Usually denim somewhere, with oil stains all over it. And really old white tshirts. They haven’t cleaned anything for the last 10 years. They talk too fast and are basically too lazy to speak with proper grammar. They are God fearing, because they dont know that God loves them, so they live in their filth, and try to bully people, who try to make their homes, and dress, speach, and manners pleasing to God. Angels love beauty, politeness, and cleanliness, but hillbillies dont know that.

  18. Heppy · April 26, 2012

    stupid article. you have no idea what you’re talking about. it’s really hilarious to ridicule the people that risk their lives everyday so that you can enjoy your modern amenities, ie. electricty, air conditioning, your computer. oh yes the poverty stricken areas of appalachia (west virginia) are just a hoot. come visit sometime! :)
    i’m sure the residents of appalachia would love to dress up and go shopping all the time, but unfortunately most of us can’t afford it.

  19. Ironboots · September 1, 2012

    I’m just an educated hillbilly….trying to make a livin in the corporate world…..then I realized I’m nuttin but an indentured servant…..the irony of it. Wish I never stopped chewin tobacca :) But I must admit I gotta a little smarter these days…..my bumper sticker reads: MY BORDER COLLIE IS SMARTER THAN OBAMA & BIDEN

  20. David · September 17, 2012

    I know this is for fun, but ‘hillbillies’ are resilient self sufficient survivors. Urbane city slickers with advanced degrees often cant even start a campfire. These days they even call tow trucks for a flat tire. Yuppies are pathetic. They couldn’t survive overnight in my back yard, yet hillbillies are the butt of jokes. You wouldn’t make fun of kids with disabilities yet hill folk are fair game. This is just ignorance. I’d like to see you set up a site that skewers ghetto blacks, but you wont, because you are afraid.

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