An ex-boyfriend may be the last person you ever want to see again, but if he has something of yours, you may have to. If he has your t-shirt, you have a particularly strong motivation to see him again to get it back. If you know your ex-boyfriend well, you may feel that you know how to talk to him to get your items back. However, after a break up emotions will be running high and he may not listen to you the way he once did.
Unless your ex wants you back as a girlfriend, he will probably not want to talk to you and may not care that you want your item back. The answer for an ex-boyfriend who doesn’t want you back is to make the request short and sweet. Let him know that this is a one-time exchange and that after it you will not be asking him for anything else. This may entice him into giving it back to you just to make sure that everything is finished between you.
Make it easy for him to give the t-shirt back. Rather than expecting him to bring it and meet you somewhere of his choosing, do most of the work for him. Tell him that you will pick it up, or choose a place where you can both meet and tell him what time to be there. By doing the thinking for him, you might get him to go along with it simply to make the situation end and ensure that he doesn’t have to keep hearing from you about it.
Be firm when requesting the t-shirt back. Don’t allow your ex any wiggle room or he may find an excuse for not giving it back. Instead of asking if he can bring it back sometime, tell him a time and place that you will expect the t-shirt. Don’t take no for an answer and don’t let him put you off by postponing the day or time. As more time passes since the two of you had a relationship, he will only become less interested in giving you your shirt back.
If you have a particularly mad ex-boyfriend, he may not listen to reason or to rational arguments. This is a situation where it may take a lot longer to get the t-shirt back. You may have to wait a few weeks or even a few months before contacting him about the return of your shirt. This will allow a cooling-off period that will allow you both to stop being so angry and to start to listen when the other one talks.
After what you feel is an appropriate amount of time, try contacting him and politely asking how he is doing. Engage him in a nice, calm conversation before bringing up the t-shirt. This will draw him in and let him see that there’s no reason to be angry any longer about the situation. This will make him more inclined to listen to you and to cooperate with returning your shirt.